Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The side you don't always see

I know this blog is full of pretty pictures (I am not referring to the ones of myself), lust list, and lot's of things I love, but the truth behind the screen is that life isn't always sunshine and butterflies. 

* My baby has now been sick with high fever for six days. We were at the doctor's Saturday morning and then back again for five hours yesterday trying to find a diagnosis. We are waiting for a culture to come back before we possibly have to precede with blood work today. I have been worried sick with fear that something serious could be going on. Combine two parents who are both worried, had little sleep, and I can promise you as much as I love Todd, we don't wake up smiling and high fiving. 

* I saw a neurologist last week about my headaches. The good news is that I have a rare migraine called a hemiplegic migraine (I say good news because the diagnosis could have been something much worse).  The not so great news is with this specific type of migraine I can not take any of the pain medications out there to treat migraines. The neurologist also strongly suggested that I get back on my Lexapro, as he thinks my migraines are anxiety and stress induced. 

* Life while off of my medication has been rocky to say the least. I wake up every morning with my heart racing for no particular reason, I have little to no patience, and I often find myself being snappy to the people I love the most. Even though I know that I am no busier than any other mom I feel like my list of things to do is never ending and almost impossible to complete. In reality, deep down I know I am actually not quite as busy as most women and moms, but in my head that's not the case. It's something I can't exactly explain. When I am on my medicine I don't feel this way so maybe the migraines were my body's way of telling me, "Hey girl, I know you thought you had this, but you need some help.".

All of this is to say, I know in blogland, life can be painted as one big, perfect picture. In reality, that's just not always the case. For the most part, I don't talk about these things for many reasons. I want this to be a place where you come to visit and after visiting you leave smiling. I always try to focus on the good things in my life instead of the not so perfect things. Plus, I am very grateful for everything I have and especially all the wonderful people in it.  All of the things I share with you guys are 100% true and real life, I just tend you show you guys the happier side and not always the entire picture. So today, instead of a new outfit or a perfectly placed Starbucks cup, I wanted to share with you guys some struggles and a little peek into the other side.