Monday, March 17, 2014

Anxiety..........

It's something I have struggled with all my life. There have been times in my life when I handled it better than others. As I have told you guys before I stopped taking my medicine (zoloft) that helped me deal with this when Taylor was about 5 months old.

 I thought I was ready, and I gave it a good run. I kept telling myself you've made it this long,  you don't need it anymore. I was wrong. I've noticed lately that is has gotten worse. I feel it first thing in the mornings if my to do list is too long. When it get towards the end of the day and things aren't complete.
When my kids are acting out. In a crowd of people I don't know.

 My anxiety also causes me to overanalyze every little thing that happens or that is said. It's not a good thing. I am finding it hard to concentrate on the things and the people that are most important in my life. It brings out my insecurities and makes me feel like many times I am not good enough.

I thank the Lord everyday for giving me such a special husband. He is good to me, he tries to understand, and even though he doesn't, he supports me. He listens to me ramble and cry when really he just wants to have a nice day and enjoy life.

So after many months, actually a year and a half now, I have decided to go talk to someone and get back on something to help me with this. This is something that is hard for me to talk about, because again, it brings out my insecurities. But many of you have asked about how I am doing since being off of my medication, and I always want to be honest with you all. I want you all to feel like you know me, the good, and the not so good.

I feel like life is a beautiful thing, I also feel like life is short, so I want to make sure I am living it to the fullest.