Before I share this weeks bumpdate with you guys, I wanted to say thank you all so much for the kind dm messages and emails on yesterday's blogpost.  I know that my post may have confused a lot of you, and I honestly thought about not even posting it.  But through all of this, I've realized that the only way to really connect and to be your true self is to stop hiding behind the mask, and to just be honest and tell all your truth.  I hate that I can't just share all of it right now, but I want to be real with you guys as best I can and not just share the pretty things going on in our lives. 

Now with that being said, even with all of the painful and stressful things happening in our lives right now there are still SO many wonderful and amazing things happening as well!  I have to admit that right now my biggest challenge is to remind myself to stop ruminating over the past, and to live in the moment and enjoy all of the blessings that are currently happening in our lives. 

Luckily, I have this growing bump as a daily reminder of what a huge blessing we have coming!  We are all so excited about this new baby girl, and we can't wait until January!  Now we've just got to come up with a name and get her nursery started!! 

19 Week Bumpdate 

Button up Flowy Maxi Dress (only $34) // Similar Beaded Bracelet

Dress runs tts, and for reference, I'm wearing a small. 

Size of Baby : Mango 

Weight Gain : 2 pounds...strangely I haven't been overly hungry, and I get full really fast.

Gender : It's a GIRL!!!!! 

Maternity Clothes : Not yet!  I've just been living in my looser fitting dresses and maxi dresses!  I did just order this maxi and these scalloped leggings one size larger. 

Sleep : This week's sleep has been a little rough.  I've been waking up several times in the middle of night either having to potty or having a strange dream. 

Missing : I can't really think of anything.  Thankfully, my wine and cocktail cravings have pretty much stopped.  But I am looking forward to having a big glass of red wine with Todd when baby girl gets here ;) 

Cravings : This week's cravings have still been pretty healthy.  I have really been craving salads, and I had the most amazing burrata and tomato salad yesterday from The Workshop. 

Must Have Items : This wedge pillow, these prenatal gummies, and I just ordered this crib for baby girl's nursery! 

Hubby's Thoughts : Still so excited and so darn sweet!  He's been talking to her a lot, and she just wiggles and moves like crazy to the sound of his voice. 

Best Part of This Week : Feeling baby girl move!! 

So, I thought about starting this post off with a 'good morning and happy Thursday, friends' and then jumping into the excuse that I haven't posted all week because of how busy I've been with getting the kids to go back to school.  Well, for a lack of better words, that would just be total bullshit! 

This week has been hard as hell for me emotionally and I have struggled tremendously with trying to grasp and understand all the things that Todd and I have both remembered about our past together and things that have happened along the way. 

Now, let me back up and fill you guys in on exactly what I'm talking about so you're not out in left field.  I am sure most of you remember my post back in May where I filled you guys in on what all I was going through, and what I had truly thought was just a stimulant induced psychosis mixed with some really old repressed trauma.  While all of that was true, there was a lot more to my mental breakdown and psychosis than just the stimulants and the one traumatic incident that happened almost 19 years ago.  And when I say a lot more, I do mean a lot more, so much that there is no way for me to tell you guys our full story in just one blog post.  Heck, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to tell you guys our entire story in 50 different blog posts.  Either way, Todd and I do plan on telling our full story soon in a book we are working on.  This is something we have wanted to do for months now, but we have been letting our emotions and fear hold us back, but after lots of prayer I know now this is one thing that Todd and I were called to do.  When I say that, I don't mean that I think this was our one and only calling in life by any means, but I do think it was meant to be part of our journey in this crazy thing called life. 

I am pretty sure I have a lot of you scratching your heads and thinking, "What in the world is Caycee talking about...oh my goodness, this girl has truly lost it.", but I promise you I haven't.  Believe me, through all of this Todd and I have both had to question our own sanity several times, and question if maybe we were both just having mental breakdowns, but just when we both felt like giving up and have thought we were really losing it, we've been given evidence / proof to confirm that we are indeed not crazy, and that these things we're both remembering did actually happen. 

I really really wish I could tell you guys more, and better explain in detail what all I'm talking about, but at this time I am just not able to for many reasons. 

Before I sign off today, I do want to share a little about gaslighting with you.  Gaslighting is something that was done to Todd almost all of his life and then it was done to us both after we got married.  It's a real thing, and through all of this, I am finding out that it happens to people all the time...and nine times out of ten, the person that it's happening to doesn't even realize it's happening. My hopes in sharing these signs to look out for, is that if this is happening to you or someone you love, that you realize you're not going crazy and that the person gaslighting you is the one with the mental issues.

And last, because I do not want to end this post on a negative note, I wanted to tell you that while Todd and I are working on our book, I am still planning on keeping this little blog going with our daily life, fashion, organization, mental health, recipes, and of course, updates on my pregnancy and all things baby that we're planning for this sweet baby GIRL!! 

Good morning friends and cheers to FRIDAY!!!! 

// I will be running around like a chicken with my head cutoff today!  I have pretty much waited to the last minute to do everything for our gender reveal party, so I'm planning on having a cup of coffee and a Coke today ;)  Speaking of our gender reveal party, here are a few fun things I ordered for the celebration.  I'll be sharing things as I set up today and tomorrow on Instastories, so check it out if party planning is your thing. 

Donut Wall

Is this not the cutest thing ever,!?  And you could do this for all kind of parties and celebrations!  I am off today to see if I can find somewhere that has pink and blue donuts...if all else fails, I guess I can just ice them myself. 

Pink, Blue, and Gold Cups and and Napkins

The gold plates are so pretty in this set, and I love that it has the mix of three colors I am using for the party. 

Gold Dot Goodie Bags

I am doing a little mini candy buffet for the kiddos and I ordered these adorable little gold dot bags to put their candy in! 

Here are a few of my 'What I Wore' looks this week...nothing too fancy, but I thought I would share anyway! 

Short Sleeve V-Neck Button Down Tee // Mavi Ripped Boyfriend Jeans  

Pink Bracelet // Vince Darlington Flat

The kiddos and I hit the pool earlier this week, and I ended up washing and drying one of my favorite tunic dresses and it's my new favorite pool cover-up!  Seriously though, this tunic dress is such a good one, just make sure you hang it to dry instead of tossing it in the dryer. 

Tunic Flowy Mini Dress // Pink Headband // TB Miller Sandal

// I had a lunch date with two of my girlfriends this week at Five Loaves Cafe.  It is truly my favorite lunch spot ever and I always get the same thing.  I tell myself every time I'm going that I'm going to try something new, but I just can't ever do it.  If any of you guys ever go, you have to get the roasted turkey on a croissant FLC caesar. 

// Along with baking cookies, making appetizers, and putting up party decor tonight, I also decided to make this honey garlic chicken for dinner.  It looks so good and the recipe seems pretty darn easy, so I'll report back this evening on stories with how it turns out. 

Honey Garlic Chicken

Hello friends and happy Thursday!! 

Okay, I know it's still super HOT, but fall will be here before we know it!  That being said, I thought I would share 10 of my favorite tops and dresses you can wear now and into the fall.  Plus, most of these could be layered with leggings and a jacket, and also wear them into the winter months as well. 

3/4 Sleeve Tie Blouse

Love, love, love this blouse!  And you absolutely cannot beat the $25 price tag! 

Wrap Dress

This is such a great wrap dress that can be worn dressed up or down, and added bonus, it comes in 27 different colors and prints!!

Stripe Ruffle Wrap Top

This top is adorable and it would look great with these black skinny jeans and these booties for fall. 

3/4 Loose Pocket Maxi Dress

Pretty sure I need this dress in all the colors.  It looks so comfy and looks like the perfect toss on dress while pregnant and after baby. 

3/4 Bell Sleeve Blouse

This floral pattern is just gorgeous, and I just love the v-neck and bell sleeves. 

Pleated Ruffle Bottom Short Dress

Obsessed with this little $29 beauty, and I think it would look so good paired with this necklace and these pumps! 

V-Neck Oversized Blouse

I can never say no to a good leopard print, and I love the shape and the sleeves on this blouse. 

Jersey Long Sleeve V-Neck Dress

Oh man this dress looks SO comfy, and I love that you can rock it with booties or flats for a more casual look.  It would also look adorable with this cardigan vest over it, paired with these knee high boots.

Umgee Boho Dress

I am actually wearing this dress today, and it is hands down one of my favorite dresses ever!  It's fully lined and looks cute now with sandals and then super adorable for fall with boots and a jean jacket. 

Happy Tuesday morning, friends!  I sure hope you all had an awesome weekend and a decent start to your week yesterday!  I have a lot of random things going on in my head right now, so I thought today would be the perfect time for a little of This and That. 

// Our gender reveal party is this Saturday and I'm getting really excited!  You guys know how much I love to plan a party, and I cannot WAIT to share what we're having with you and a lot of our close friends! 

I decided to make a large cheese and meat board of some kind along with the little dessert bar I mentioned.  I have a few ideas in my head and I knew as soon as I spotted this large wooden cheese board on Amazon I had to order it for the party. 

// Taylor has officially decided she no longer likes the color pink and now she wants a black and gray room.  That being said, we are planning on turning our guest bedroom into her new big girl room and we are going to use her old room as the nursery.  Taylor definitely knows how to drive this mama crazy and wear her out that's for sure.  I told her we would have to compromise on certain things and that her entire room was not going to be black and gray, and much to my surprise, she told me that she really liked this wallpaper so I'm thinking about possibly putting it on the wall behind her bed. We shall see what else I come up with, but for now, these are a few things I picked out for her new "big girl bedroom". 

Removable Floral Wallpaper // Shell Mirror (on major sale) 

Gray Ceramic Lamps // Tassel Duvet Cover and Shams

// Taylor and I before church on Sunday.  I truly didn't plan for us to match, but when I noticed we did, I had to get a picture. 

My Loose Swing Dress (only $23) // Sandals sold out but similar here // Gold Hoop Earrings

Taylor's dress is from Doodlebugs, which is an adorable little boutique in Georgetown. 

// I just ordered this cute little fall cookie kit from Amazon last week and I couldn't believe all the stuff that came in it for only $12!!  We use this sugar cookie recipe, and I've used the included Wilton cookie icing before and it's awesome!! 

I just ordered this new assortment pack of coffee for my Nespresso Vertuo Express, and you guys, they are all SO good!!  After drinking these I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to regular coffee again! 

And last, but not least, this is a quote that popped up on my Pinterest feed this week and it was one that I really needed to see and feel in that moment.  That being said, I figured if any of you guys are struggling, this is a really good thing that I believe is true and that we all need to be reminded of.