Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The side you don't always see

I know this blog is full of pretty pictures (I am not referring to the ones of myself), lust list, and lot's of things I love, but the truth behind the screen is that life isn't always sunshine and butterflies. 

* My baby has now been sick with high fever for six days. We were at the doctor's Saturday morning and then back again for five hours yesterday trying to find a diagnosis. We are waiting for a culture to come back before we possibly have to precede with blood work today. I have been worried sick with fear that something serious could be going on. Combine two parents who are both worried, had little sleep, and I can promise you as much as I love Todd, we don't wake up smiling and high fiving. 



* I saw a neurologist last week about my headaches. The good news is that I have a rare migraine called a hemiplegic migraine (I say good news because the diagnosis could have been something much worse).  The not so great news is with this specific type of migraine I can not take any of the pain medications out there to treat migraines. The neurologist also strongly suggested that I get back on my Lexapro, as he thinks my migraines are anxiety and stress induced. 

* Life while off of my medication has been rocky to say the least. I wake up every morning with my heart racing for no particular reason, I have little to no patience, and I often find myself being snappy to the people I love the most. Even though I know that I am no busier than any other mom I feel like my list of things to do is never ending and almost impossible to complete. In reality, deep down I know I am actually not quite as busy as most women and moms, but in my head that's not the case. It's something I can't exactly explain. When I am on my medicine I don't feel this way so maybe the migraines were my body's way of telling me, "Hey girl, I know you thought you had this, but you need some help.".

All of this is to say, I know in blogland, life can be painted as one big, perfect picture. In reality, that's just not always the case. For the most part, I don't talk about these things for many reasons. I want this to be a place where you come to visit and after visiting you leave smiling. I always try to focus on the good things in my life instead of the not so perfect things. Plus, I am very grateful for everything I have and especially all the wonderful people in it.  All of the things I share with you guys are 100% true and real life, I just tend you show you guys the happier side and not always the entire picture. So today, instead of a new outfit or a perfectly placed Starbucks cup, I wanted to share with you guys some struggles and a little peek into the other side.  




33 comments:

  1. I will be praying for God's healing hand to be placed on sweet Taylor and that he will give you a sense of assurance that he has things under control. Much love and so many blessings!

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  2. Thank you so much Maggie! Xoxo

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  3. You know I am always here for you and praying for Taylor. Trust in God, this will all be fine. Love you girl.

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  4. Thinking about y'all. So glad to hear you FINALLY got the MRI & glad to hear that there's an answer. I'm sorry about Taylor- saying a little prayer they figure out what's going on.

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  5. Thank you, Caycee. I really, really needed this today.

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  6. I'm so sorry about your daughter. I hope they can figure out what is going on soon. Hopefully it is nothing, but its the worst when your babies are sick :(

    As for your other struggles, I am sorry. I do love your fun, happy blog but you are totally right that this is only a small glimpse of your life. I think it is hard for others to remember that sometimes. Prayers to you and your family!

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  7. Praying for your sweet family today. Hang in there sweetie! XOXO

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  8. You seem like such a wonderful and strong woman and an amazing wife and mother. While things may appear overwhelming at times, you have demonstrated time and time again that you can get through it! :)

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    1. Jenny you have no idea how much this means to read the words that you just wrote. Thank you so much.

      Caycee

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  9. I'm a new follower since yesterday, but I can promise you this...I will be return day after day. It's such a breath of fresh air to open your daily reads in the morning and SEE someone who is honest to god REAL! Thank you, Caycee. Thank you for being REAL and showing us that we ALL don't have to live perfect lives.

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  10. So sorry Taylor still has a fever. My youngest had a raging fever for 8 days then we started antibiotics and he turned a corner. No strep or ear infection. Just one of those unexplainable things that makes mama worried. Prayers for answers!

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    1. Thank you Meredith!! I hate that your son had this, but it actually gives me a little comfort know that his was just a virus!

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  11. Praying for your sweet baby girl!!

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  12. Real posts are my favorite. I'm sorry y'all are dealing with nasty sickness and migranes, those don't sound like fun in the least. I can be snappy with those I love the most when I'm tired, I know it's wrong, but it happens.

    Praying for you and your family!

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  13. I'm praying for your baby girl. Hoping she gets better quickly. :)

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  14. Thinking of you gorgeous momma - and sending so many prayers to you and your family. I hope your little lady is diagnosed soon, there is nothing worse than the unknown! Hope your migraines ease and you feel better too. Thank you for being open and honest on your blog - we all have these days x

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  15. Caycee - I started following you on IG and have since become a big fan of your blog too. I find it incredibly brave of you to be so open and honest and REAL. It's so easy for all of us to only show the "pretty" side of our lives, but we all struggle, and sharing that struggle allows this huge community to pray for you and encourage you in times of need.
    I too struggle with anxiety and have for most of my adult life. I've seen a lot of doctors because of my racing heart and palpitations... basically everything you explained in this post. Because of you, I have the courage to continue to seek answers and treatment and not just accept that my life is always going to feel like this huge ball of anxiety. Thank you for opening up and allowing us to learn from you... not just from your incredible fashion sense and decor talents, but from one mom to another who has real life struggles. This post will help many people.
    And I will be praying for your little girl. As a mom of two little ones, I know how awful it can be when they have an unexplainable illness. Please continue to update everyone on how she is doing so we can continue to pray for her... and you and your husband as you go through this process. Hang in there mama - you're doing great!!!

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    1. Stacy, wow is all I can say. Thank you so so much! I can't tell you what it means to me to read the kind words you wrote. I am sad that you struggle with all these as well, but please know girl you are not alone, and seeking help is always the right thing. Again thank you Stacy for your kind words!

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  16. This is exactly why all of your readers love you! You are honest and real and so relatable. I deal with anxiety and migraines and reading your blog is a breath of fresh air! Sharing your journey helps so many of us and when you show the pretty pictures too, we can feel your joy. Praying for you & your little girl!

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  17. We must have been feeling the same way this week. Thank you for sharing the real stuff too!

    I shared your link on my Facebook page as well.

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Daily-Dose-of-Del-Signore/138744869530071

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  18. Oh mama, my heart breaks for you. Everyone is busy in their own ways and that is no matter. I'm so sorry you're struggling and Taylor is sick. I pray you all get the answers and cures you need <3

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  19. Caycee, I will too be praying for you and your precious little girl Taylor! Thank you for being you and sharing this moment in your life. Anxiety sucks, at least you have stepped up and tried to address it...i'm not there yet. I still give excuses for my behavior (Not enough sleep, not getting a break from our kids, "That time of the month," or there is just to much going on) when I should really talk to a doctor to address the issue. Most days I feel like a computer with 6-10 screens running at the same time. Draining. I know it is difficult to explain, and the judgment of others makes it not worth talking about. Just afraid of not feeling like myself and also short/long term side effects of taking medication. I just think well if I start working out again on a regular basis, it will make all the difference. The struggle is real girl : ). Thank you for telling your story, it gives us all a reality check and strength to take care of ourselves. We all love ya girly! XOXO

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  20. Sending love, thoughts and prayers for you and your family! Especially little T! xoxo

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  21. I will be praying for beautiful Taylor and your family. I always appreciate your honesty and strength. God bless!

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  22. Prayers for you and your family.

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  23. Hi! I never comment but love reading your blog. I'm sorry your little one is sick. Praying for answers. And glad you finally know an answer on migraines. I too have anxiety but luckily I've found success with the advocare products. It's helped me tons! Maybe for you just knowing will help. It's always stressful worrying about "why"

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  24. Thank you for sharing with us. You are in my thoughts. XO

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  25. Remember, no matter what, you are strong. XO

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  26. Thank you so very much for sharing this today. As a mom of 5 I feel like this on so many days and though we always try to present the perfectness on social media I love that you shared this side ...because this is life and reality!!!! Hope your little one is feeling better soon!!! Xoxo

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  27. i read this post yesterday and teared up a little. i didn't have enough time to comment but i have been thinking about you. this posts is so indicative of the relationships we bloggers have with our readers. it's so easy for people to just assume life is how it is thru pictures, but in reality, may be very different. props to you for always being honest and showing the good times and the rough. i hope this week has been better for you...and keep your head up. i know all about that anxiety and suffer along with you so i'm always thinking of you lady. xoxo

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  28. Hi Caycee, WOW I've been away from the blogging scene for a week or two and came back to this. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, but rest assure that half of the mums reading your blog are all feeling the same way. Before my tummy tuck I had to see a heart surgeon because I was experiencing exactly the same thing. My heart out of nowhere would start racing like crazy. The surgeon gave me the all clear and since then I don't think about it. I know it sounds crazy but it went away when I stopped thinking about it. However in saying that it has happened a few times again in the past couple of days. Anyways, I hope you are doing well and try not to worry too much about it. We all go through this. As for your little one, I am so happy to hear she is doing well. It is the worse feeling in the world when there are no answers as to why they are unwell. Thank God she is up and well.
    Love your blog and instagram

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  29. Sometimes sharing your feelings, insecurities and receiving some comfort from the words of others is just the medicine a mom needs to push through. Having a child that is ill and feeling so helpless has to be the worst feeling out there. I hope your baby girl is on the mend.

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  30. The real side is the one your readers enjoy the most. Prayers for you and your baby.

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