Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My 2 daily battles

Ok I just need to vent and let you all know the two things tha run through my head atleast 5 times daily! First is my weight, I think about it all the time! I have finally decided that I;am serious about getting it off too! I haven't blogged about it lately because I feel like its something that I constantly say I'm going to do and never follow through with. So I'm making progress and I thought I would share. It has finally hit me that the only way that I'm going to get skinny and stay skinny is to eat really healthy and workout everyday, sucks I know, but it has to be done! I'm actually really getting it to it this time though, I have started running and I'm loving it, ok lets don't lie here I'm liking it! I have lost almost 2 inches from my waist YAY me!!!! Ok number 2 please do not judge, because Im about to be real honest. Do I want another child? OMG I know I really just typed that out! I think about it all the time daily actually... I'm just so torn I always thought that I want 3 or 4 kids, but now I just don't know? Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a mommy its the best thing ever, but I feel like I have it so together with one baby! I know you are all thinking why are you trying to make this decision now your child is not even 1 yet? If you know me you know I plan everything and I do mean everything i think about things long in advance before they ever happen. Now the reasons I think I only want one... all selfish of course 1) I can keep my house clean and do all Carson laundry
2) I can get my body back and never have to get really BIg again
3) I had a terrible pregnancy and really have no desire to do it again
4) I take showers get dressed and put on makeup everyday
5) We can still go to dinner and lunch with one baby and handle it?

Ok you all see where I'm going here right. The only thing is I really want Carson to have a brother or a sister and when I'm older I want to have more than one child? Any advise???

PS Thanks for letting me vent!

4 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. I battle the first thing every day of my life too. I have been that way since probably the 8th grade and now I am almost 28 years old.

    As for the children go... I can relate. Although, I didn't get a chance to decide if I wanted more or not. I got pregnant with my second child when my first born was only 3 months old. I have told everyone that we are done and were not having anymore. I want to lose the weight and I want my life back in order. Now my husband comes and tells me that he isn't sure 2 is all he might want....

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  2. Caycee! I am so proud of you for eating healthy and staying active. Tommy and I view it as something important for the boys to watch also. By watching up they will be healthy and active too. Now about this 2nd baby deal. Girl, you gotta take that to the cross and LEAVE IT there. Seriously next Sunday you and Todd need to go as a couple and pin that on there. Are you doing the Daniel Fast? Maybe start that and make it your prayer focus. I have gained and lost it twice and now am excited to do it again hopefully soon! Two children has been a challenge but also a HUGE blessing:) We love our boys and feel so blessed that the Lord has chosen us to raise them. You are a great mom and wife but somethings honestly just have to be left up to the Lord.

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  3. Here's the good thing:
    1. You have time on your side. You are young and can have children for number of years. You really don't have to decide anything just yet. You may just be feeling overwhelmed by having a relatively young child on your hands now.
    2. Certainly think about how your child's life would be different as an adult if he had a sibling or didn't.
    3. Pray about it. This is THE MOST important step!
    Best wishes to you and your decision!

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  4. Hey! I came across your blog a few months ago, but have never commented. I just wanted to comment about your 1 child vs 2.

    I felt similar to you when we had our first. I felt really comfortable with the one that we had and I never even really thought about having a 2nd, but then I decided I really wanted our first to always have a sibling. So we decided to try for a second. They are 2 years and 5 months apart, and it's really great having both of them. We have two boys so they enjoy playing with the same things and really love one another...right now anyways. In some ways our second has been easier and I think partly it's because he has an older brother to entertain him.

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